The current state of my existence is permanently set to Test Mode, where I am testing the absolute limits of how much stress a single human can handle before they start speaking in medical abbreviations to their houseplants. I tried to Edit Profile on my daily routine to include things like "hobbies" and "consistent sleep." Unfortunately, every time I get close to achieving either, a fresh batch of Events on the floor pulls me right back into survival mode. At this point, I just keep clicking Continue on digital charts, hoping that if I do it fast enough, the universe will reward me with a ten-minute window to sit in a chair that doesn't have wheels.
My Notification Settings have officially become the soundtrack of my life. A rhythmic symphony of pings and buzzes that keeps me moving through hospital corridors like a slightly overworked, undercharged robot. I've reached a stage where…